Breaking past the illusion: different is not bad

Christine L’Abbé

It's important for parents and caregivers to know that it is so understandable for us to experience fear when we learn that our child is identified or labelled as different.

From the moment we were born, we were taught that we needed to fit into this world to survive and to feel safe. We were given a blueprint of what success in this life meant and what it looked like. This blueprint solely focused on what appeared outside of us rather than what lived within us, naturally directing our attention to our physical selves and our environment. We learned that happiness was merely a reflection of our external worth.

Culture greatly influences our experience with our children because it represents the basis of all our beliefs. When we are given the news about our child, we begin to mourn a fantasy about what our lives were meant to look like that we believed promised happiness.

But what if society had it all backwards? What if this is all an illusion?

What if I told you that true happiness came when our life and the choices we made were in alignment with our soul's intent. That life was about finding meaning that was unique to our individual soul path. What if success and abundance came from our ability to be in true happiness, in other words, to know and understand what it feels like to follow our bliss.

How would this impact how you show up in life? How would it change the way you raise your children?

If true happiness is a reflection of how deeply we know ourselves and how empowered we are to follow our bliss, wouldn't it mean then, that to mold someone to be something they are not could only lead them to suffer? Isn't this the opposite of what we want for our kids? Isn't it the idea of our kids suffering that we fear the most?

Yet, unknowingly, we continue to raise and support them in an outdated way, simply because society has not yet caught up. Our children are different, yes. And for good reason. They are not meant to be molded, but rather given an opportunity to discover their own unique light and share it with life, however that looks, because this is what gives meaning to their lives, this is what lights them up. So why are we trying to fix them? Mold them to be like the others? Doesn't this only highlight that their differences make them bad? Doesn't it have us all focused on what our kids aren't doing or the behaviours that disturb the others? How does this not lead our kids to suffer?

Take a moment to remember that we cannot know what we don't know until we know. 

Like many of you, I didn't know for a long time. It's only when my kids were two and four that I woke up, after which I had to do the inner work to eventually discover what I am sharing with you today, my kids are now ten and twelve.

You cannot know what I am sharing with you here unless you are living in alignment and following your bliss, only then will you understand the joy that it brings, however you can know that another narrative exists for you and your children, you can know enough to want to explore another way.

You cannot know the expansiveness of what is available to us all unless you have awakened to it, unless you have opened up to your own expansion and power, however, you can today set the intention to open up to greater possibilities for your whole family to thrive.

One step at a time. It only takes one step. You would be surprised how quickly the rest begins to show up in your life to support you on your path.

Only our soul knows what we are capable of creating in this life. There isn't one person on this planet that knows better than your soul - and as such, to raise and support a child is not to tell them who and how to be, or that we know better, but rather to create an environment that empowers them to tap into their innate abilities, wisdom, intrinsic motivation and confidence.

Now this doesn't mean we don't teach them about life and this world, how to care for themselves and so forth, it simply means that we expand those things to be explored, open our eyes to what our kids are doing rather than focus on what they're not doing. Take the time to get a deeper understanding of why they are behaving in certain ways rather than trying to eliminate the behaviours. Meeting the deeper need eliminates the behaviour.

Our kids, those deemed 'different', or labelled in some way, are awakeners.

They are teaching us a new way of raising and educating our children - all of our children.

To mold a child to be what we want them to be limits their potential. This applies for all kids.

Empowering a child to explore and discover who they are and what they are innately good at or drawn to expands their potential. To create safe space for a child to follow their bliss, discover what lights them up leads them to inner joy and satisfaction, to intrinsic motivation, to a desire to create and contribute to life in whatever way they are meant to. We are here to create. We are here to connect with others and uplift humanity in our own unique way. This could simply be living in joy and sharing that energy with those around us, creating a ripple effect.

Knowing what you just read today, ask yourself: what steps can I take today to begin parenting in a way that is aligned with my child's soul's intent?

Stay tuned for my next post on this topic.

Feel free to send me questions christine@evolvemovement.ca, share comments, or share this post if it resonated. With every share we create movement and with movement we can make waves.

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."

Love to all

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